I’ve been drinking

I didn’t take a bath last week. I had a bad week. Nothing was wrong, it is just that I had a bad mood. I wasn’t depressed or something, it felt bad in my mind.

I’ve been drinking in the last few days. Except a few talks with Auriel that made me laugh… I’ve been drinking and playing and smoking. Except an out of nowhere beer with my friends that made me smile… I’ve been drinking. I didn’t left the house! It was chaos in my mind, it was chaos in my life. I felt insecure!

It’s about money and time again. I have money, but… Not enough to pay back my debt, not enough to visit my nephew, not enough to go in vacation. That debt is bugging me! I want more free time. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t like my work. I want more free hours, free days, free weeks. 

I’m ok! I took a bath this morning. I had time to think. I want order this week. I want to be in charge of my life. I want the plan to work!