A word to Malthael

Emphasize less that you are a drunkard, but it’s ok! :))

Those words touched a chord! They were said by my best friend after I shared this journal with him. I really hope that the true meaning was that I should drink less and not talk less about it…

I have an issue with the things I should do. I have an issue with should. The word, the meaning, the concept, the obligation annoys me. Nobody is allowed to tell me what I should do and what is better for me. This is how I became broken! Listening too much to others and letting them take the decisions for me!

I agree that I want to drink less! Notice the different mindset. I wish to do things on my own terms, to take my own decisions, to do what I feel and to feel what I do! 😉

I don’t agree that I want to talk less about it. Not talking about a problem or diminishing it is wrong! It didn’t worked for me! I still have a drinking problem and a smoking problem and other 97 problems.

Malthael, you’re dead wrong! 🙂 I drink a lot of beer. Talk about it! I drink beer often. Write about it! This journal is not Failbook…

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I don’t write that often anymore

I don’t write that often anymore. I would like to say that I’m not writing because I’m happy, but that’s not entirely true. Don’t get me wrong! It’s good to be happy, it’s good to enjoy the moment and forget about the phone and the journal, it’s good to just live the life and not write about living it.

I don’t write that often anymore because people know about the journal. People that know me. People that I care about. Some time ago I started to be careful about what I write. I found out that in some cases, in some articles, while I write, I tend to choose certain words over others, positivity over rants. There are moments in which I want to write, but I don’t because I wonder what would people think when they will read it.

I don’t write that often anymore because I don’t write only for me nowadays. I started the journal to let off steam, to share a joy with the void, to encourage myself to be more open. I want that back. To write from my soul! To not care about what others will think, to speak my mind without thinking, to express my feelings freely and easily. 

I will not share new articles I write with the people I care about. Starting effective immediately! Starting with this one. They know about the journal. They can read it by themselves. In case they have questions or suggestions about an article or two, I encourage them to let me know and we will talk about it freely and easily! 🙂