Failure

15 years ago I left my home town to go to faculty. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. My sister was already at an electrical engineering one. I joined her. I didn’t care. Three years in I realized that I didn’t like it. I didn’t finish it.

After a few years I was an employee and I listened to a colleague and joined the 2nd faculty. A cybernetics one this time. I saw them only once. When I joined. I never saw them again. That says a lot about my motivation. I didn’t finish it.

A few years ago I joined the 3rd one for real. PR! It was my decision this time. My grandma always asked me when I will finish. I remember visiting her in the hospital last winter. She said to finish the faculty! She died this year. I never forgot her wish

I’ve finished with the faculty once and for all! Last week I got expelled for failing too many exams. Without the possibility to rejoin. Let bygones be bygones! I will not finish any faculty! 

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Bad night

I drank a lot! I smoked a lot! I played a lot! I have a huuuuuuge headache! I didn’t sleep well. I woke up several times to drink water. I don’t know what I dreamt. I just know that I didn’t sleep well! I have to stop lying to myself and others. I am not well! I need to get my… together! I have to stop buying beer and cigarettes! I must do the assertiveness tests and send them to my doctor! The lawyer answered and I have to talk with the others about it. I do not know! It costs a lot of money! My sister invited me to take a trip with her at the river. I don’t know! School! My grandma died this year. 

“Finish school!”

I haven’t done anything for school in the last two months! 😦 Does heaven exist? My grandma is happy! 🙂